So Thursday morning I’m going to wake up earlier than I want to and board a flight to the rest of my life.
(How’s that for an opening line?)
Actually, I really have no idea if or how my Thursday-through-Sunday excursion will impact the rest of my life given the whole I’m-not-omniscient thing, but I do know it will be an adventure I will remember for years to come because, no matter what happens, just my getting to go on this trip was an act of God. Another story for another time…
I knew the first few moments I began to read a plain, black, hardback Bible I lied to get when I was 16 years old… I knew I was hooked on it. It was oddly intriguing, this ancient collection of writings, all telling the same story, yet leaving me with so many questions… it spoke to me and about me without ever using my name…
A year later I found myself teaching what little I knew about the Bible to others who knew even less… for me, it just came naturally. I had to tell what I was learning… Something compelled me. And I suppose it was way back then – my senior year of high school – that I knew deep down inside that I wanted the major emphasis of my life (other than family, of course) to be teaching the Bible to others.
So I went and got my degree in Biblical Studies and Theology, and a couple of years later I got my chance to start teaching Bible to small groups. A couple more years went by, and I started teaching through this blog. And somewhere along the way, when I was knee deep in toddlers no doubt, my heart began to desire a broader ministry.
(Truth be told, I will probably always struggle with how much of that desire is God-given versus selfish, but it’s probably healthy to continually examine that as I go along.)
When my daughters were both under 5 years old, my desire to help people become passionate about the Bible grew stronger and stronger… and, logically, the more people I could influence to that end the better.
But my call to care for my littles 24/7 was more important to me (and, evidently, to God, seeing as how that’s the way it turned out) at that time. My dream to teach more people more often would have to wait. And that was okay. My time with my pre-school daughters was precious and valuable (and stressful and overwhelming, but I digress).
Every one of those summers with my babies I longed to go to the She Speaks conference… I’d scroll through the pretty website, read over the schedule, daydream about the workshops designed to help women like me become speakers – Bible teachers to the masses. And my dream would get a little bigger, threatening to cause my heart to burst with enthusiasm. But every summer would come and go without my being able to attend.
Well, my baby turned 5 years old last week. Both my daughters will be in full-time, big kid, real deal school in t-24 days (but who’s counting?)… and the Lord just so happened to move a mountain to send me to the conference this summer.
He’s up to something.
And when I take my eyes off Him, I’m terrified as to what that something might be.
But when I remember that He is good and that He loves me, my heart quivers a little less. Today our guest pastor preached on God being sufficient to supply all the resources we need to accomplish the God-sized dreams He’s given us.
I share all this to make you smile. He is in every detail.