Where In I Freak Out

I am teaching my first Bible study sans pre-fabricated material on Thursday.  There will be no Beth Moore…no Priscilla Shirer…no fill in the blank workbook…  There will just be me.  And whatever I come up with – or don’t – is all these women will get.


I’ve decided to teach Hosea.  I wanted to pick a book that we all haven’t read a million times.  And Hosea has a lot of great stuff tucked away inside.  I’ll have enough material for 4-6 talks.

Or so I thought.

Now that I am sitting down to prepare for lesson one, I feel like my brain has been completely extracted from my head.  I no longer know how to write complete sentences.  I am flipping through commentaries, staring at the pages as if they are written in hieroglyphics, unable to produce a single original thought.  I wonder if anyone would notice if I just stood up there and read directly from a commentary on Thursday morning…

Minutes pass… hours pass.

I am beginning to rethink my ENTIRE life’s work.  Writer?  Speaker?  Teacher of the Bible?  These are things I cannot do!  I must’ve been mistaken when I had inklings that God had gifted me in these ways.

I watch the cars pass by the front window of the coffee shop I am in.  (Never end a sentence with a preposition.)

I zone out for large chunks of time.  Maybe I just need some food.  Or some sleep.  I do NOT need more caffeine.  Maybe the antibiotic I am on is messing with my head.  Or maybe I never learned to read and write!  I thought I knew how to do those things, but it is becoming clearer with each passing moment that I have not!

This post is totally weird, no?


Exactly my point.




2 thoughts on “Where In I Freak Out

  1. Because the post was totally weird, I felt compelled to watch the advertising video at the bottom of the post. Believe me, it was totally weirder. That being said, even your weird post is of more substance that most stuff out there.

    Now what if you think of Hosea in terms of its overall structure: (1) Hosea acts out God’s anticipated history with Israel (chapters 1-3), (2) God brings His case against Israel (chapters 4-14). The first part is a picture of Israel’s rebellion but with a promise of judgment and then restoration accomplished by God. The second part is God’s charges against Israel, an insincere attempt at repentance by Israel, the judgment that will come and an incentive to be restored to the Father, and a sincere repentance.

    Here is a link that will be helpful in thinking about the whole book: http://biblica.com/niv/study-bible/hosea/. Pick out the main themes and how they might relate to us and begin to craft the study around them.

  2. 🙂 Sounds like God has you right where He needs you… so stop, pray, and move out of the way. He’ll step in your place like He always does once we realize we cannot do it on our own or without Him. He’s got this and He definitely wants to use you as the vessel!

    Ps. Cannot believe you didn’t tell me this Saturday night!!!! Can’t wait to see what God does through you in this study!

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