I am teaching my first Bible study sans pre-fabricated material on Thursday.  There will be no Beth Moore…no Priscilla Shirer…no fill in the blank workbook…  There will just be me.  And whatever I come up with – or don’t – is all these women will get.


I’ve decided to teach Hosea.  I wanted to pick a book that we all haven’t read a million times.  And Hosea has a lot of great stuff tucked away inside.  I’ll have enough material for 4-6 talks.

Or so I thought.

Now that I am sitting down to prepare for lesson one, I feel like my brain has been completely extracted from my head.  I no longer know how to write complete sentences.  I am flipping through commentaries, staring at the pages as if they are written in hieroglyphics, unable to produce a single original thought.  I wonder if anyone would notice if I just stood up there and read directly from a commentary on Thursday morning…

Minutes pass… hours pass.

I am beginning to rethink my ENTIRE life’s work.  Writer?  Speaker?  Teacher of the Bible?  These are things I cannot do!  I must’ve been mistaken when I had inklings that God had gifted me in these ways.

I watch the cars pass by the front window of the coffee shop I am in.  (Never end a sentence with a preposition.)

I zone out for large chunks of time.  Maybe I just need some food.  Or some sleep.  I do NOT need more caffeine.  Maybe the antibiotic I am on is messing with my head.  Or maybe I never learned to read and write!  I thought I knew how to do those things, but it is becoming clearer with each passing moment that I have not!

This post is totally weird, no?


Exactly my point.