Today at 12:30 PT, a couple plans to abort their 20 week gestation daughter. The doctors told them a couple weeks ago she has a pretty serious heart defect. So they’re choosing to end her life in the hopes they will get pregnant with a healthy child instead.
If you know anything about abortion procedures, you know a 20 week baby is too big to be “discarded” humanely.
I’ve prayed long and hard that the Lord would change this couple’s minds. This morning, as I was in the shower, I told God I hope He doesn’t allow them to get pregnant again. As I was thinking this thought, I immediately felt the ugliness of it. I recognized it as not from the Lord in any way, it was purely my human way of thinking.
I rationalized that this couple doesn’t value life and have already proven they will choose to kill any baby that isn’t perfectly healthy. They don’t deserve a healthy child, and they can’t be trusted with another pregnancy, I thought to myself and to the Lord.
I knew I was wrong to think this way. Such a thought shows no grace whatsoever toward this couple. And Jesus is all about grace.
I felt God say, “What if I give them a healthy baby immediately after they abort this child, and what if that gift opens their eyes to how gracious and forgiving I truly am? Then will you still feel the way you feel now?”
“Well…no…” I replied, embarrassed of myself.
The Lord went on, “What if I show this couple grace even though they’ve aborted a child in the past, and they come to love me as a result?”
Yes, I thought, that is a response Jesus would have in this situation – grace.
No one gets saved because they “get what they deserve” or experience divine retribution. They get saved because the Lord continues to reach out in grace and mercy and love even when they know they don’t deserve it. They get saved when they experience a divine love they’ve never seen anywhere else.
That’s how it happened with me. The Lord showed me grace, and I responded in faith. Who am I to tell Him not to show grace to someone else – for any reason? Shameful.
Abortions are going to happen in this world. And they are going to break our hearts and the Lord’s heart. But He won’t allow that evil to be wasted. The best we can hope for is that He will use such atrocities for His glory, someway, somehow.
In the meantime, He commands us to love people with abortions in their pasts as ourselves because He knows that as we are conduits of His grace and love, people are drawn to Him. And that’s what matters most.
“But He won’t allow that evil to be wasted.” Well said!!
Who are you to call this couple evil? Abortions done at 20 weeks are done because the baby is very ill. Complex heart defects mean a child who needs specialist care at every step of its life. Babies at this stage are loved and wanted and it’s devastating for women to lose them. These are horrible choices, for both the parents and the doctors. Your judgemental attitude without even trying to understand why someone would take such a serious decision doesn’t say much about you.
If you truly wanted to save baby’s lives you might do something more constructive than stand in the shower thinking cruel thoughts. Maybe get out and agitate for high quality, easy to access medical care for families with disabled children, or for medical research to cure these kinds of awful defects.
Thanks for reading.
Make no mistake – I am not calling this couple evil, I am calling abortion evil, and I am doing so on the grounds that God says murder is wrong in the Bible.
I understand this couple is motivated in part (although certainly not in whole) by their desire to be “merciful” to the child, to “put it out of it’s misery”.
But here are the facts: she isn’t in pain, her heart defect is not a death sentence, and many children with medical problems of this magnitude can and do go on to live high-quality lives.
Whether people want to admit it or not, they often abort children with medical issues for selfish reasons – THEY can’t bear watching their disabled child be disabled. Often, the child is perfectly happy; it’s the parents who suffer emotionally.
The bottom line is God creates children, knits them together in the mother’s womb, as the Bible says, and He should decide when their lives should end, not us.
I appreciate your frank honesty about the feelings you had. Most of us wouldn’t want those on display. Compassion and grace (for others, of course…my grace is sacred!) are probably the greatest lacks in most conservative Christian’s theology.
Thanks for the encouragement, Stephen.
Thanks for being vulnerable to share your humanity with us and show that the power of God’s grace isn’t too good for anyone and no sin is too bad for His Grace to cover. Just because we become a Believer, doesn’t mean we lose the instinct to think these thoughts and have these seemingly rational judgments, it means that we do exactly what you did….ALLOW God to convince you/us that you/we are WRONG in your/our thoughts and His Grace is sufficient for even that and so much more. No one is perfect, but so many refuse to admit it, but to show the imperfection and be real is what shows the perfection that is Christ…His Grace. Oh and ditto what Elian said, I loved how you put that!
Thanks, Cathy. I appreciate your reading!
Kelly, Even though one person misunderstood your words, I believe the truth behind them is priceless. The couple is probably sad, not evil. I agree abortion is evil. I have known many times when a couple was warned about a birth defect, but decided to have the baby. The baby was born perfect. Doctors are good predictors, but they are not prefect predictors. They can be often wrong.
I believe that is not the most important point of your blog. The most important point, in my opinion, is that God gives us grace. Grace defined as “a gift we don’t deserve.”
I know God will give them the grace of His forgiveness if they ask. I pray He will give them the grace of a healthy child, whether in this pregnancy or the next.
Thanks, Jean. This couple went through with the abortion, and their daughter is now with the Lord. Pray for them to have the support they need if/when the weight of their action becomes too much for them to handle emotionally.