Since January 1st of this year, God has been jack-hammering away in my life. I guess He finally got tired of letting me operate out of my baggage. He wants more for me. And, clearly, I wasn’t going to pursue that willingly with Him. So five and a half months ago, He declared my heart a construction zone, and I’ve been the unwitting star of Extreme Makeover: Kelly Levatino Edition ever since.
If you’ve read my blog at all in the past couple of months, you probably can guess that God hasn’t gotten to the part of the show where the immaculate new creation is unveiled. He is still largely in the demolition phase, using heavy machinery to destroy the foundation I laid before I ever knew He existed. He’s using His big guns – trials and tribulations – to break apart my foundation of self-protective measures and self-serving motives.
Truth be told, I liked my old house.
This process has been anything but enjoyable. I’ve been less than cooperative with my Foreman. He keeps showing me the blueprint, explaining to me over and over how wonderful the final product will be. He’s really excited about it. But I am no architect; I struggle to envision all that He has planned. All I know is that I liked my old house.
God has to echo His words to Israel to me on a regular basis. “Forget all that – it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland” (Isaiah 43:18-19).
As I sit in the rubble of my old house, it is hard for me to forget the good memories I had there. It is even harder for me to understand that the destruction of my old house is necessary before the building of my dream house can take place.
I have a choice to make. I can kick around the debris where my old house once was, cursing the day it was destroyed, and remain homeless. Or I can believe God when He says He wants to build me my dream house and agree to let Him on my property so He can break ground.
It all comes down to trust. Do I trust God to build me a better house than I can build for myself?